Home is....

When I arrived in Colorado Springs, I spent the first couple of weeks trying to figure out where home was. I was born and raised in California, but now I was in this new city, where I knew God was going to reveal himself in a whole new way.

I started hanging all of my picture frames. My friends, my family. Before I left California, on one of mine and Carly's MANY trips to Ross, I found this picture frame that said, "There's No Place Like Home". I bought it thinking, "Oh, I know exactly what I'm going to put in here." And when it came time to actually hang it, I went back and forth on what home really was to me. Before I left for Colorado, I moved out of the house that I lived in for 5 years with my mom. I lived with Carly and her family and while they are like my second family, I never felt at home. So what was I to put in this frame? I really felt like God told me, "Just hang the picture frame with nothing in it. I will reveal to you what home is." So the frame has hung on my wall, empty ever since.

I went home for a week for Thanksgiving. And for the first time in a really long time, I felt at home. Not just in the building that I was sleeping in. But with the people. I spent an entire 10 days with what I will always consider my family. I spent those ten days, cooking in the kitchen, laying on the couch, watching tv, talking at the dinner table, actually eating at the dinner table (that never really happened a lot when I was growing up), laughing with each other, crying with each other, and just living. And at the end of the trip, I heard God say, "This is what your home is. Not a location, but being first in the presence of Me and then in the presence of the people I have placed in your life."

Since I was ten years old I've always said that I will NEVER live in California all of my life. So the idea of me leaving and possibly never coming back permanently, was something that I was looking forward to. But something happened over Thanksgiving, I found something in California that I love. I may not love the people driving on the freeway, or the sun 365 days in a row, or not being able to really see the mountains because of the smog, but I came to the point that if God calls me to stay there all of my life, I will be privileged and happy to do it. And if He places me somewhere else, then I'll trust that I will still feel at home, wherever I go.

There was one other thing that I feel like God is still revealing to me. Maybe one day I will share that with you, but at this point he's still working in me. :) Don't you just hang to be left hanging? :)

It was so hard to leave California. I love all of you there and if I didn't get to spend a lot of time with some of you, I am sorry. Please know that I love and care for all of you, and I'm thankful that you are apart of my life.

I'm already counting down the days till I come back: 18 to be exact! :)