He Holds It All Together.

So this is kind of a hard one to write. I've been wrestling with questions that I have for God lately. I've only been back from California for four days and yet in those four days, I feel like I have lost sight of what God is doing and planning for my life. I came out to Colorado with this insane vision of what God was doing in my life, and yet somehow in the matter of a few weeks I've lost that vision. I find myself asking God, "What the heck am I doing here?" People keep asking what my plan is after school. Am I going back home? Am I going to another church in another state?? Am I staying in Colorado?

And all I can say is.... I'll go wherever God takes me. And while that still is true, I find myself getting angry with God for not giving me direction. For not showing me where he is taking me. And because of this I find that I'm not getting closer to him. I'm pushing him away. And it hurts so bad to know that I'm pushing the only person who knows me better than anyone away.

And yet, through all this I still cling to his promises, his faithfulness, his strength, his mercy, his grace, his power, his love, his comfort... And I try to remember that he holds it all together. No matter what happens, my God has his hands in it all.

Psalm 104:7-9

"At Your command, the water fled;

at the sound of Your thunder, it hurried away.

Mountains rose and valleys sank

to the levels You decreed.

Then You set a firm boundary for the seas,

so they would never again cover the earth."

I'm taking a songwriting class this module. The word intimidated doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling about this class already. I've got to write three of my own songs by March... The first one is due in the next couple of weeks. Songwriting has never been something that just comes to me. Trust me. I've tried, multiple times to sit and write... and nothing ever comes. So please just join me in praying that God will give me words and that I will have confidence in knowing that he is the one who is giving them to me.

I love all of you..