I've had a very emotional week.
The sad part is, is that the stuff that is making me emotional isn't even directly happening to me.
One of my very best friends has a mom who is battling pancreatic cancer. She called me on Thursday and basically said that her mom is at the end of it, that she's ready to go home to Jesus and my friend has had to say her goodbyes.
And then there's a man in the church who is battling lung cancer. This man would stand at the back of our church and after every set on a Sunday morning would look at me, smile, hug me and say "Keep On Singing!!", and I would smile, hug him back and say, "I Will!!!"
Neither people are super close to me. I've only met my mom's friend once, but I spent an entire 40 minute drive home from work crying my eyes out thinking about all of this. On this drive I cried out to God.
I've been struggling with not knowing what to say. The thing is, I've been there. I know that there are no words. There is absolutely nothing that I can possible say that will ease even a little bit of the pain that these families are feeling. So I asked God on my way home that day...
"What can I do??, I need to know what to do. I can't just sit here, and cry about this!! I need to do something!!!"
And God was silent.
Until Friday morning when I climbed in my car at 5:40am and plugged in my iPod and heard Hillsong United's "Soon" start. And then He said
"This is what you can do. It's what you do every Sunday and Wednesday. You lead them to me. You pave the way to my feet, where they can lay everything. You need to record this song."
I had already been wanting to record "Amazing Grace" cause that is what Jack's favorite song was, and he always wanted me to sing it, and I wanted him to have that in this time. So I went home and locked myself in my room for the a day and half and I recorded these songs.
I put them and a few other things I have recorded on a CD and gave it to Jack's Family to listen to.
See God gave me a voice. And even after all this time of leading worship, I'm still learning the reason's he gave it to me. He is still reminding me of why I was created this way.
I live to worship. It's what I was created to do. It's in my DNA. And I plan to spend my life helping people live the same way.
For now, if this is all I can offer, I know that it will be enough, cause God will make it enough.
Enjoy these two recordings, they aren't the best, but it's my worship. So it doesn't need to be.
"Soon" - Hillsong United
"Amazing Grace (Chains Are Gone) - Chris Tomlin
