I know.
It's been a long time.
I had a great time during Spring Break. First having Shane here for the weekend, then flying back to Cali and spending an amazing week there. Before going home that week I had really been praying about what the next chapter in my life would be. In fact this is something that I had been praying about since being home for Christmas.
If I'm totally honest when I came out here, 90% of me had no intention of coming home. I thought that this was going to be the season of my life that God would have me grow and take me somewhere unexpected and unknown. That was exciting to me.
So when I started praying and asking God what his plan was. He began to ask me a question, and at first I pretended that I didn't hear it. Because at first it wasn't what I wanted to hear.
He asked, "If I send you back to California, will you go?"
See, I've always said since I was younger that I never wanted to live in California for all of my life. And I believe that God knows that. So when he asked me if I would be willing to go back, I was... well, not happy.
But then I really started to think about it. I remembered an entry that I wrote at the beginning of this year when we had our retreat.
"But I quickly remembered that when I came out here I told God that I wanted to him to change me in some way..."
-"Trust In The Lord With All Your Heart..." 9/8/09
Ohhhh Why had I said that???? haha.
The truth is God has changed me. I have a greater relationship with God than I've ever had. I have learned who he is and a little bit about the way that he works. I couldn't imagine telling God, "Well, I know I followed You out to Colorado, and You have provided for me this entire time, but You know I'm going to make this decision on my own and I don't really need your help." Yeah, there is no way I was telling God that. So I did the only thing I really could do, and once I said it, I realized that it's something that I really wanted.
"God, I'll go wherever You take me."
"I want You to go to California." Is how he answered.
He began to give me many reasons why I needed to go back, back to my home church. He began to show me people, and I began to start praying for those people and for Lifegate in general. He began to give me amazing visions of the work that he's going to do and how he's going to use me.
So, I met with Pastors on spring break and I'm officially heading back to Lifegate and continuing to be apart of that congregation. I have such a peace about this and know that God is going to continue to do amazing things. I'm excited.
And at the very same time, I'm so very sad to leave this place. I never imagined that I would ever feel this way about leaving. I never imagined that I would love this place so much. I've made amazing friends that I know will last a lifetime. These girls have literally made this year something that I never could have dreamt of. Leaving them is going to be sooo hard!!! But I know that God has given me such great friends for a reason. And that's what will make this a little less painful to drive away from. I'm hoping at some point they will all come to California and be able to meet the people in my life back home.
This year hasn't come without it's struggles. For all of us. Please keep us all in your prayers. As we finish off this last module, pray that we have the strength to push through and finish strong. Pray that God will constantly be speaking to us and telling us what our next steps should be.
Pray for me. I'm moving out of the house that I'm living in now for certain reasons and I am still looking for a new place to live. I've got a few options, I'm just really praying about which one to take. Just pray that wherever it is, it will be a place that will help make my last month here a great one.
Did you read that correctly??? My last month. Yup... I've got a little more than a month left here in Colorado. :) I just want to smile.
I love you all. In case I don't get time to write here again before heading home, I want to say thank you. Thank you for going on this journey with me. Thank you for all of the prayers and financial support, kind words, packages, and cards. I truly could not have done this year without all of you.
See you all soon.
