Finding My Artistic Side

Wow. It's been a while. For those of you who actually pay attention and look for new blogs from me (if you do, that would actually surprise me :/ ) But if that is you, I apologize.

But here I am again, and I've come to a conclusion.

I am not artistic.

Not one bit. When it comes to creating new things of my own. I lack the creative eye, ear, smell, whatever, I'm missing all of it. In my prayer time, I feel God giving me visions of me creating. Music, art, yummy food. I know that God has given me gifts that I have not tapped in to.

If you ever enter my room, you'll see that I have a massive closet. It literally covers an entire wall. My closet doors, are mirrors. About 5 months ago, I started using those mirrors as a whiteboard. In my journaling time, after amazing times of worship and prayer God has given me words that I believe are for a song. I started taking those words and writing them on my mirrors forming them into a verse, a pre-chorus, and a chorus of a song. I started adding more one-liners hoping and trying to fit them in somewhere. I even added a few chord progressions.

It's been 5 months, and that is still all that this song has become.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's confidence that I lack. I'm still believing that one day it will be great. I know that God didn't speak those words to me for nothing and I will keep working, and allow God to create it.

Also, I want to be an artist. Not just a musical artist.

Do you think you can learn to draw? Is the ability to draw and paint and create pictures a talent that you're born with? Or is it something that, with a little (or a lot) of practice, can be achieved? If so, I want it. More than that, I feel like God knows that desire and desires to draw it out of me. God is obviously an artistic person (just look at our world) and we are created in his image, so why can't it happen?

So what do I do? Well, I spend days (and sometimes, nights) working on it. Praying about it.

Tonight I took out the crayons and color pencils and markers (I'll try paint when I have a bit more confidence lol) and I began to draw. They weren't that great, and no one will ever see them. But I know that it's time well spent. Just like I practice playing piano and singing, I will practice my art. It may never be stunning work, but I know God will give me pictures to draw out, and maybe one day that song on my mirror will become more than marker smudges.

It will be something that is used to minister to just one person.

That will make these 5 months worth everything.

Thanks to one of my best friends, I've been listening to a great song by a great band that I'm starting to LOVE... This is the bridge that has been sticking with me. I don't want to be someone who listens to great words only after people are gone. And I hope that I say things worth listening to while I'm alive.

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I've been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’"

"If I Die Young" - The Band Perry