Home is....

When I arrived in Colorado Springs, I spent the first couple of weeks trying to figure out where home was. I was born and raised in California, but now I was in this new city, where I knew God was going to reveal himself in a whole new way.

I started hanging all of my picture frames. My friends, my family. Before I left California, on one of mine and Carly's MANY trips to Ross, I found this picture frame that said, "There's No Place Like Home". I bought it thinking, "Oh, I know exactly what I'm going to put in here." And when it came time to actually hang it, I went back and forth on what home really was to me. Before I left for Colorado, I moved out of the house that I lived in for 5 years with my mom. I lived with Carly and her family and while they are like my second family, I never felt at home. So what was I to put in this frame? I really felt like God told me, "Just hang the picture frame with nothing in it. I will reveal to you what home is." So the frame has hung on my wall, empty ever since.

I went home for a week for Thanksgiving. And for the first time in a really long time, I felt at home. Not just in the building that I was sleeping in. But with the people. I spent an entire 10 days with what I will always consider my family. I spent those ten days, cooking in the kitchen, laying on the couch, watching tv, talking at the dinner table, actually eating at the dinner table (that never really happened a lot when I was growing up), laughing with each other, crying with each other, and just living. And at the end of the trip, I heard God say, "This is what your home is. Not a location, but being first in the presence of Me and then in the presence of the people I have placed in your life."

Since I was ten years old I've always said that I will NEVER live in California all of my life. So the idea of me leaving and possibly never coming back permanently, was something that I was looking forward to. But something happened over Thanksgiving, I found something in California that I love. I may not love the people driving on the freeway, or the sun 365 days in a row, or not being able to really see the mountains because of the smog, but I came to the point that if God calls me to stay there all of my life, I will be privileged and happy to do it. And if He places me somewhere else, then I'll trust that I will still feel at home, wherever I go.

There was one other thing that I feel like God is still revealing to me. Maybe one day I will share that with you, but at this point he's still working in me. :) Don't you just hang to be left hanging? :)

It was so hard to leave California. I love all of you there and if I didn't get to spend a lot of time with some of you, I am sorry. Please know that I love and care for all of you, and I'm thankful that you are apart of my life.

I'm already counting down the days till I come back: 18 to be exact! :)

Today I had an amazing experience in my Pastoral Ministry class. Instead of having a lecture, we as a class read the entire book of 1 Peter. It's only 5 chapters long, so it didn't take forever, but I have never read a group of passages and felt so moved by the words. For those of you who have never read all of 1 Peter, I encourage you to. Don't read it fast and without regard to what Peter is saying. Read it slowly, and read it out loud. Read it in a few different translations. We read it in the Message paraphrase and it absolutely blew me away.

It's amazing to think that Peter wrote this as a letter to people who were exiled to all the corners of the earth. It's amazing how those words were applied to them and can still be applied to us in our day. My favorite part of this whole book (well, ok there are a few but I will only share one)

1 Peter 3:1-6

1-4The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

^4-6Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as "my dear husband." You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

I love that one day, when I am married, the Word says that a man will be captivated by my life of holy beauty. This world gives off an impression of what husbands and wives should be, and I gotta tell you, sometimes I'm not impressed. I don't always look forward to being a wife if the worlds vision of what a wife should be, holds true. The portion that I put in bold is my favorite. I won't have to worry about what I look like. If I'm too fat or too skinny, or too short or tall... I won't have to wear pretty jewelry, or make sure that my hair is colored the perfect shade, and I have the perfect cut when I leave the salon. What will matter is my inner disposition. And that is something that even now, I work on. I want God to take hold of me and make me who he wants, that way one day a man will be captivated and it won't be because of what I've done, but because of what God has done in me.

I don't mean to say that I won't care what I look like and dress like a slob and never shower... but it kind of takes the pressure off a little, don't you think? As long as I work to be exactly what God has called me to be.

This entire book is amazing. If ever you are having a bad day or you just need encouraging... read it.. take every word in. Stop every once in a while and just let the words sink into your soul. I promise you'll be amazed once again of how great our God is and with how much he loves you.

After you read, come back here and tell me what you thought. What passages stood out to you? What scriptures gave you goosebumbs? Cause I know there's a few that gave me some!

I love all of you and for those of you in California, I'm looking forward to spending time with you starting next week!!!

Jess

Another Quick update...

Wow... It's been a while.... there has been many things that I want to write about. So much about what I'm learning here at school. So much that I've been learning just through my own personal reading of the bible and other books..... BUT things are SOOO busy right now!!!! I've got a couple days more than two weeks before my first module ends!! I still can't believe it.

Finals and really long paged papers are illuminating with due dates, choir practice is starting Christmas music and I'm soooo ready for a long Thanksgiving break!!! :)

I'm really happy to say that I think I'm doing pretty well in all of my classes. My two speeches for my communication class went great. I got really great feedback back from my teacher and a "A" on both. I passed my 'Christian Growth and Development' midterm with and "A", although I am still waiting to get my midterm back for 'Biblical Foundations of Worship'. So now your wondering, (or at least I would be wondering if I was reading this) "Why are you telling me this, Jess?"

The reason I'm telling you all this is because a lot of you have invested in me coming out here with both your prayers and your money. I need and want you to know that I'm working really hard to make all of you proud. I'm working to get good grades. I didn't move all the way out here to just barely pass. That isn't what I'm striving for and I need you to know that.

I did have a job interview at the YMCA in Monument (which is a town just north of Colorado Springs) It was a group interview and I think it went pretty well. It's working in the "Kids Zone" which is just a program somewhat like a day care that is provided to members of the YMCA while the children's parents workout. It's perfect hours for my schedule and good enough pay. I'm still waiting to hear back from them as to whether I got the job or not so please just keep this in your prayers.

The weather has been absolutely wonderful!!!!! I had my very first two snow days last Wednesday and Thursday. I got to sleep in and snuggle with my pillows and read and watch movies. That's something that I'm not really used to and I've got to say that it has been such a blessing to just spend time with myself. By Friday though, I needed to get out of the house! Me and two of my friends, Kayla and Lara had a sleepover and Saturday morning me and Kayla learned to do Michael Jackson's "Thriller" dance at the YMCA!! hahaha Great Halloween morning!

Thanks again for all of your prayers and comments on facebook. It's so great to know that I have an amazing church family that hasn't forgotten me!!! :)

I'm looking forward to coming home and spending time with all of you.

Love you and I will see you in exactly 16 days!!!!